I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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