Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
