Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
