I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dick very happy bro
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
