Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
