So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
