I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
