I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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