His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
