Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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