i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
