She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
