we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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