There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
im holly from the hills drunk
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
