She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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