You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize