I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
