I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
