remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
