Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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