wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
