Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize