so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
