The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
