did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
