My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
