Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Holy sore nipples Batman
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
