in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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