So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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