woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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