u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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