My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
