i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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