So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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