I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
