We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
