it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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