fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
