i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize