Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
