Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You made out with two different species that night
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
