he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
