fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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