you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
