How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
