saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
