what day is it and did you see me today?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Holy sore nipples Batman
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
