i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
