According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
third nipple confirmed
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
