She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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