quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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