brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
