the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
