My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
