soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
