everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
