I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
