bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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