im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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