yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
