OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
