He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize