found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
