Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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