I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
