this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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