How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize