why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
