So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
