Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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