Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
