Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
