glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize