Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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