HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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